complicated

My english no improvement
But now I just want to use english to describe my mood...

Its really...
moody
complicated
emotion
blue
and sigh...

I dont know why?
Sometimes it was just so suddenly,
Actually I am laugh out loud just few second ago
But next second I was so moody
I hate myself become like
Oh, come on~
This is not me!!!

I want to sleep actually,
But many thing always get on my mind before I sleep...
I need a vacation~
I need my son~
I need a job~
I need to take a new course~
I need more money~
I need my healthy back~
I need a new DSLR camera~
I need a new LIFE!!!

But now what if I can do is,
I just can think as dream only,
U know when I told somebody about 1 of my need,
My parents, sis, relatives, or friends,
They will just ask me to wait my body getting healthy,
Then just think about it,
And they like not trusted me,
They thought that it was impposible things,
I know I need to wait but...
HEY, I just think only,
Why dont u just be a good recycle bin,
Listen to what I say,
And give me some support,
Should not going to blame all of it,
And say that it was impposible~
It was hurt and make me so emo...

Sometimes I feel lonely,
Although all my family members are here,
But not even one of them know what I needed...

Sometimes I feel really wanna cry,
Although television programme is funny,
But after I laugh I feel emotion...

Sometimes I feel wanna shout,
Just to shout out all my recentment,
Is not because of someone,
Is just I dunno how to describe,
It was just complicated,
And I was just wanna SHOUT!!!